Surviving the First Year of Marriage

The wedding was just beautiful and the honeymoon was awesome. The two newly weds are excited to rush home and get started with their new lives and  building the perfect little family, picket fence and all.
Everything is new and fresh with a new start.
The first few weeks is remarkable. Even going to the grocery store to stock the sweet little kitchen is a moment to treasure. As the two love birds are pushing the buggy through the grocery store they carefully select only the best of products for the new home. Using some of the wedding money they are excited to visit the housewares department to select the perfect towels and shower curtain. Life just couldn't be better. Or Not.
Making it through the first year of marriage can be difficult and challenging even for couples deeply in love. Once the honeymoon is over and everyday life sets in things get back to normal. The difficulty is, normal for one spouse may not be so normal for the other. Your do no wrong tall dark and handsome begins to kick his socks and shoes off in the middle of the living room floor for his sweet little darling to pick up later. His beautiful princess begins to leave her curling irons and hair spray all over the bathroom counter. At first these little thorns are kinda cute and we gladly do our duty and ignore them. We then realize this is going to happen EVERYDAY for the rest of our lives. The cuteness soon fades away...
With all of the new dishes and cookbooks from the wedding shower your Mrs decides to cook the perfect meal carefully following the recipes in the book. The dining room table is meticulously set with each plate, fork, spoon, knife and napkin in it's proper place. All of the food is on the stove waiting to be placed in it's carefully selected serving bowls. Time goes by and the Mr. hasn't made it in yet. No problem he's only fifteen minutes late, so the sweet Mrs anxiously looks out the window at every sound. Hoping for the love of her life to get home. An hour later she's looking at the meal thinking it will surely be cold and unfit to eat. Finally the phone rings and it's her Mr letting her know he will be running by a friends house to see his new stereo. A couple of hours later her man finally makes it home. She places the shriveled green beans and dried out potato's and cold steak on the table. Not a word is spoken at dinner and you could even hear a pin drop. Oh no something is wrong, but nothing is said about the lateness or the food.
Unfortunately this starts to happen three or five times a week and finally the straw breaks the camels back and the Mrs is sick of it. BOOM the fight starts. Not only do they fight about the lateness but the socks and shoes, the curling irons and hair spray, and every other thing that is ridiculously wrong.

After the first major big fight the newly weds feel just awful. So they decide to make up. That is the best part about fighting is the making up right? So after many apologies, hugs and kisses the air is clean between them, each vowing to change their wrong doings.
Once again life is blissfully wonderful for the honeymooners, or so they thought. After several weeks the bills starts to pile in. It seems like everyday for about two weeks a new bill would come in and you think will they ever stop.
The inexperienced couple throws them all in the desk drawer to look at them in a few days. After a couple of weeks go by they start getting more bills but this time in the form of late notices and disconnects. Finally they figure out it's time to pay some bills. So they faithfully open the check book and start writing out bills. Unfortunately the balance isn't accurate due to debit card transactions that were not recorded and a couple of overdraft items are returned. Another fight breaks out as to whose fault it was that all of this happened. The "IF YOU's" begin. Finally they work through it buying very little until all the checks are cleared and fee's are paid. When money is tight, tensions are high. It seems both parties are a walking time bomb, but they manage to just work around it and vow to do better next time.
Several months pass by with fights happening off and on over any and everything. Eventually the thriving couple starts to see a pattern and begins to make adjustments in their actions as well as their way of thinking. Some things just aren't worth the fight and some things are just too important to ignore. Eventually they come to a consensus and a compromise.
When building a classy family from the foundation up the new family will have to work through their differences and compromise. It's best not to sweat the little stuff and to overlook little faults, because we all have them. The newly wed couples must realize it's OK to have arguments as long as it resolves the issue in a constructive manner. It's never OK to name call or physically fight.
In my home I have always taught my children that a person has to give 100% to the marriage, not 50/50. If each person gives a full 100% then EVERYTHING will work out to the best.

Classy Attitude

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window.
 "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."
 "That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged...it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.  It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ... just for this time in my life."
Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from it what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in your bank account of memories. Thank you Nana for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

I found this article on my team newsletter.

Classy Kitchen 101

For most women (and some men) the favorite room in the house is HER kitchen. The fastest way to get in trouble is to step out of line in her kitchen. The classy cook in the house will keep a well stocked pantry, a sparkling shiny sink, and a well rounded refrigerator. 

Dream on…. Now let’s come back to the reality of everyday living.

I’m not sure if it’s fate or destiny but 99% of the time after I’ve cleaned the kitchen and swept and mopped the floor, someone comes through and spills a glass of milk or tea. The old saying "don’t cry over spilt milk" comes to mind. Many times you might just feel like crying over that spilled milk.

A good way to keep a well stocked pantry and a well rounded refrigerator is to check the sale papers weekly at your local grocery stores. Basically you stock up on the foods you eat while they are on sale. This past week our local store had Top Sirloin Steak on sale and I purchased 4 or 5 packages. This week they had pot roast and pork chops, again I stocked up. So now I have about 2 weeks’ worth of meat. Another great item to stay stocked up on is can veggies. Watch your store sales and purchase them when they are on sale for a good price. Their shelf life makes them a smart item to stock up on.

Now to keep a fresh, clean kitchen and sparkly sink I follow moms’ favorite advice… “It’s easier to clean a little mess than a big one”.  To get a sparkly shiny sink, I scrub it with Clorox powder. Not only does it shine my sink but it also kills any germs and bacteria.

Many times, especially with larger families, it is a real challenge to stay stocked up and keep the kitchen sparkly. The Classy Family will do the best they can, with the time they have, with what they have. In my own classy family, I’ve learned not to stress over every little thing. Life is more than keeping a perfect house. We just prioritize and do the best we can.